I saw a sign on a bathroom mirror once. It wasn’t a sign, really. Just a simple little sticker, but the message was clear and powerful and thought-provoking. As if I didn’t have millions of things to think about already, another tab opened in my head and my brain train derailed in order to make an unscheduled stop (as most of my thoughts are) at the confusing, sometimes evil street of Societal Values.
My eyes focused on the sticker for a moment and then on my face and then back and forth before they settled on staring intensely into themselves. My bottom lip drew back between my teeth, and I cast my eyes down in fear of not liking what I see. Amazing how one line that’s supposed to be uplifting has caused me to stare at the details of myself and pick apart every flaw I can see.
I look up at the sticker again. “Warning: ,” it says, “Reflections in the mirror may be negatively affected by socially constructed ideas of beauty.” A warning, huh? It’s a nice thought towards the self-image of the hundreds of women that pass through a bathroom daily, but it’s sad in a way, isn’t it? That we should have to warn people not to let the ideas of the society ruin their self-esteem or the good they see in themselves? If people are concerned enough to think we must warn the society against negative self-image caused by the values of the society, then why can we not, as a society, reconstruct our values so as not to jeopardize self-image in the first place? Is the prospect of everyone being beautiful really that awful? Apparently so.
What does that say about us as a society? About beauty itself? It tells me that we are too focused on the wrong things and that our values are severely distorted. We are too tuned into what’s fashionable today and what will make us look good enough to land a date tonight instead of what will make us better people for tomorrow and what will innovate our lives for the future. We place too much value on body shapes and curves and clothing instead of the things we should consider beautiful, like kindness and helpfulness and lovingness.
It also tells me that while the “beauty” that we so value is constantly evolving to fit the times, it never evolves far enough to be anything more than superficial. We don’t care about the beauty on the inside, only what we can see from the outside. We’ve evolved from loving porcelain skin to tan skin. We tolerate skinny now more than we tolerate curves. We enjoy seeing girls wear shorter clothing instead of longer, modest material. We don’t care now if a guy has long hair or a girl has short. Crazy, colorful hair and tattoos are now a thing to be admired. And yet, we can never so much as evolve to look on the inside of a person to see what beautiful is.
Going back to the idea of societal values being confusing and sometimes evil, can you now see what I mean? We know it is wrong and destructive, but we as a society have made no sincere effort to alter the idea of “beauty”. Does it bother you any, now that I’ve pointed it out and you can’t turn your head, can’t look away and pretend it doesn’t exist? It should. We’ve become too caught up in the superficial that we are unaware of the consequences of ignoring what’s really beautiful. It has twisted our values into something that lacks sincerity and depth.
I look back at the reflection staring thoughtfully at me. Is SHE beautiful? Well, everyone is, so she must be too. But what about her is beautiful? Her face? Her eyes? Her character? I don’t know. Does it even matter, though, as long as she knows she’s beautiful?